May - 2019

Welcome to thewingedlife.com,

the website of Toledo psychologist, marriage counselor, author, and speaker

Kevin Anderson, Ph.D.

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I'm nobody, who are you?

“I used to be somebody, but since I left my work I feel like a nobody,” a recently retired attorney said to me. His struggle was not fleeting. Suicidal thoughts had been intruding for months on what he thought would be the most enjoyable part of his life. “You’re making me think of one of Emily Dickinson’s poems,” I told him. We looked it up on my office computer: I’m Nobody! Who are you? Are you — Nobody — too? Then there’s a pair of us! Don’t tell! They’d advertise — you kn

This question could save a life

It's spring and the world is coming alive again! It may surprise you that spring is the peak time of year for suicides. In 2017 there were over 70,000 suicides in the United States—almost 200 per day—the highest in fifty years. I made this brief video (link below) with the hope that it might find its way to someone who needs it. It presents a question I believe can be lifesaving for someone who is feeling suicidal. I also discuss my brush with suicidal thoughts almost twenty

This question could save a life

Reflections on a wren's nest

This photo is of a nest in a hanging basket next to our front door. The two carolina wren chicks are easy to see. But why are there still two eggs (look closely for the second one beneath to top chick)? These are cowbird eggs. We caught the cowbird in the act of laying an egg in the wren's nest. This is how cowbirds handle the problem of raising their young: let someone else do it! If you have children, you may have had days when you felt the cowbird was onto something. The p

Reflections on a wren's nest

Faith fires

As I watched the replays of the steeple of Notre Dame Cathedral falling I felt a “Can this really be happening?” shudder move through me. My first reflections on that fire were about impermanence—how, as Robert Frost put it, “nothing gold can stay.” Not our best cathedrals, not our parents, not ourselves, not our children, not our homes, not even our planet (which will have its own conflagration in about seven billion years). “All things must pass,” is how George Harrison put

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